I haven’t stood still all day. It’s been a very ‘Fringe’ day, with something happening on every corner, and though my appetite isn’t quite back yet, I’ve been burning calories at a furious rate: I ran around Arthur’s Seat this morning, passing Fringe legend Michael Redmond (who smiled and stood aside, what a gent), and a group of tourists who saw me approaching and pretended they hadn’t, blocking the pavement. I ran around them on the grass, and fell over. Glasses off, upside down, the whole works. A few murders of surprise, but I wasn’t assisted in picking myself up.

Perhaps they assumed I was an art installation.

Celebrity two was Tom Toal, doing his flyering outside Whistle Binkies. His agent is Lisa White, who came to my awful gig the other day, thus cementing her reputation for good taste (by putting Tom on the books, I mean, not by coming to see me). We chatted for a while – I think he’s a tremendous act. Then up the Mile, down Grassmarket, up to the Meadows for a cup of tea and who should I bump into but Lolie Ware. We chatted about Brighton. She’s a very smart person, and we discussed strategy. Yes, there is going to be a strategy! So far my strategy has been to tell people I’ve got a strategy. Lolie informed me that this was not a good enough strategy.

After getting back to the flat, I decided there were more calories to burn, and it was a nice day, so I climbed up Arthur’s Seat. I’ve downloaded loads of new podcasts to my phone, but every time. Plug it into the laptop, iTunes wipes them off and replaces them with old stuff I’ve already heard. It also refuses to put Simon Smith and his Amazing Dancing Bear on my iPhone. What does Apple have against Randy Newman?

I came down a new, and as it turned out, steep way, listening to Richard Herring interviewing Janet Ellis, and wondered whether if I slipped and was killed, this would be reported as the Last Thing Hawkins Listened To. It might make it into a Warming Up. I switched to the more somber Barker’s Adagio for Strings, which would be more appropriate in the event of tragedy. My iPhone shuffled immediately afterwards onto It’s Raining Men, so my relief on reaching safety was doubled.

And a great show in the evening. Dane guested for us, and we had a good crowd in, including my uncle Phil, the Massive Horse guys and Robbie, the bar manager of the Dragonfly. Really nice of him to come in and watch us on his day off. I felt the energy dipping a bit, but we had a superb evening – not quite the best, but a good solid hour of comedy.

We’re enjoying it, but are both looking forward to our day off tomorrow.

    Everything is Purple
    5-25 August (not 14 or 21) at 22.10
    Venue 63 – The Dragonfly, West Port
    PBH free fringe

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